Published research by the US Department of Fish and Wildlife, yesterday, revealed the existence of actual “fat cats” in Washington, a claim Sarah Palin has long been making, but with little evidence or support until now. A department spokesperson says the cats were “defensive and displeased” about being called out into the open, and attempted to engage Palin in one of her trademark “petulent hissy fits”.
The Fish and Wildlife Department is considering making Palin the new ‘poster child’ or marketing mascot for a department that “just isn’t very sexy or even animalistic most of the time”. Officials point to Palin’s work with wildlife during her failed Vice Presidential campaign, such as hunting wild mooses from helicopters using a high-powered animal assault rifle. “Who better,” asked one interviewee, “to both conduct a sustained catfight in Washington, and to represent the raw, feral, subhuman climb up the media food chain?” Palin is staying mum about the offer, and is reportedly trying to decide if it fits with her current status as prima donna and effigy for the Tea Party, a role that could get her taken even less seriously.