Ragdoll Wins Men’s Favorite

ImageAnzu Ayami has been awarded the Beauty Icon of 2011 crown by Popular Opinion Monthly (POM). Critics have pointed to her childish face, and stick-like body features, saying she doesn’t represent real women at all. “It’s a mistake to encourage the current fetish with anime girls,” said Rachel Okawa, spokesperson for the Foundation for Healthy Sexual Outlooks. “It’s no different than Barbie, which is lauding anorexic images of girls with shallow concerns. Men with low self-esteem are attracted to these images, and girls with devastated personas try to fulfill those desires.”

POM spokesman Jarrod Gilmore, a former ESL teacher, defended the decision saying, “Jeez, that’s our bread and butter!” When asked if holding up Ayami as the picture of beauty repesents a latent pedophilia, latent homosexuality, sexist, misogynist, fear of substantive sexual equals, rife with ethnic exploitation, he responded, “No, definitely not. We just like girls with infantile facial features, boyish hips, and vapid expressions, in prissy effeminate ragdoll poses, who seem physically frail and powerless and are Asian.”

ImageNot to be outdone, Maxim magazine announced it is giving its Twenty-Something Men’s Favorite Award to an actual Asian ragdoll – Kiki – who is even more juvenile in appearance, with fewer defining features of adult females, and far less intelligence than Ayami could ever aspire to. “As a companion with almost no substance at all, other than a little latex between the ears,” said a Maxim spokesperson, “we think she truly represents the romantic aspirations of most 20-30 year old men. The future of celebrity stardom is definitely latex.”

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