Pat Robertson Says God is Pissed Off Again

Image Pat Robertson, today, in a press release responded to ninety-seven tornadoes that struck 15 U.S. states over one week, beginning April 14th in Oklahoma, with North Carolina, Alabama and Mississippi being the hardest hit, by reaffirming his view that God is angry. Robertson said that tornadoes are God’s wrath, rain is God’s tears, but thunder is just God passing gas.

When one reporter asked if that wasn’t “coke bottle from the sky religion that would have us cowering in caves and offering up our daughters whenever a comet flew overhead”, Robertson retorted, “Comets are sparks from God’s camp fire.” In a subsequent press release, Robertson went on to advocate sacrificing chickens to appease meteor shower deities and feeding virgins to volcanos to ensure an uninterrupted grain harvest during the coming tribulation.

Not to be outdone, Louis Farrakhan has issued a statement claiming the earthquakes are God’s judgment for poor treatment of black people, some Muslim fundamentalists are saying it’s God’s wrath for America’s invasion of Iraq & Afghanistan, and Sarah Palin has said that God sent the earthquakes because he’s the only who ever gets what’s she’s saying, and he’s tired of it being reported verbatim, which makes her look foolish.

Leave a Comment

The Ashernet

Visit Asher's Other Haunts