North Korea Doesn’t Understand Where Non-Aggression Comment is Coming From

ImageSouth Korea announced today that it will not tolerate any aggression from North Korea. Early reports suggest North Korea is shocked and its population reeling with surprise and confusion. “Previously, aggression was always tolerated,” said Lim Young-Gu, a restaurant owner, according to an official government translator.

As an aside, translators are needed because of the rarity of available speakers of North Korean dialects. Mistakes happen easily – for instance, in South Korea, the same statement would be translated as “Stop sabre rattling you meatheads, you’ll get us all killed. What is your problem, already?”

South Korea also warned North Korea that it is under the umbrella of US nuclear protection, which again prompted confusion and concern. North Korean Minister of Defense Kim You-Too, said “We always thought the Americans had gone home. It’s been 65 years after all. We haven’t looked over the barbed wire much in recent decades, but when we heard they had something called Cinemax, we thought the soldiers would all have left. We’re still watching re-runs of My Three Sons. How is Chip Douglas doing? Episode 17 cuts out just before we know if he learns a valuable lesson.”

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