The Tree of (Mis)fortune

The Tree of (Mis)fortune is difficult to find, though people look for it to cast their wishes at it. Sometimes they stand and just ask in the dark, without knowing where the question goes. If what one wants come true at all, the price is always unintended results.

13 Simultaneous Thoughts

13 Simultaneous Thoughts

They told me my head would explode. I didn’t believe them. Until I heard the ticking. Since I was a kid, I could think about several things at once. I could be doing math, figuring out how to talk to the girl in front of me, and simultaneously imagining living in ancient Egypt. Teachers would …

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Medusa and the Mormon

Medusa and the Mormons

Medusa had big hair – on purpose, of course. What would you do if a dozen of the nastiest snakes you ever saw were growing out of your head? You couldn’t just put on a wig. The only solution was do your hair up like that Married With Children lady – Peggy Bundy, and try …

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What Happened to Shemp

What Happened to Shemp

Three heads aren’t enough. You need a great many heads for head soup. What they don’t tell you is that heads don’t have nearly as much meat as they seem. Once you shave them (the hair is no good) and take off the jewelry, and dispose of the skull – all but one of them, …

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