The sales work wasn’t that rough. It’s all about knowing people, after all. Oh yes, and about positive thinking. No one ever did anything for themselves without believing that things would work out for his benefit. It wasn’t lying either, telling that old couple that I was thinking of buying that car for my wife. It was telling them what they wanted to hear, what they needed to hear. And they would be as happy – happier – with that car, as with any other. Hadn’t they felt better about buying it, knowing they were stealing it from someone else. Getting something practically for free, an edge over someone else, didn’t that make it easier for them to part with their savings? And that’s what it took. They were going to steal from my wife, if I’d actually had a wife, and yet I didn’t hold it against them. I gave them a steal of a deal. All things work together for good, and what’s good is good for me.

And the boss, he’s just doing his job. Larry. He just wants to motivate me. Telling me I have to sell 20% more than last year, which was 20% more than the year before that. If I give 110% of myself, he said, I could do it. He believes in me. I do to, I guess. I have to. It’s me and only me that determines if I get to stay in this job, and there’s only me to blame otherwise. Last week when they let Mr. Felka go, that was understandable. He wasn’t making his quota. They really let him stay longer than they had to. He’ll be happier now that he has more time on his hands. He was looking forward to retirement. It’s just a little earlier, after all. And he doesn’t really need the full retirement package. Where’s he going to go, and old man like that? He never took a vacation in his life. He was always here, trying to sell cars. And then last week Larry finally tells him that he needs a break. He could’ve died working himself like that, and then it would look bad for the dealership. And severance pay – they’re phasing that out, anyway. Not fair if he were to get it, when no one else will. No, Larry did the right thing if you ask me.

Pretty soon my hair will go from white to gray. But I’m not like Mr. Felka. No sir-ee-bob. I think positive, which is why I can’t afford to give that old man much thought. He made his own bed. It’s not up to me.

“Hi Larry. That was a sweet deal, eh – that old couple driving away in that Chrysler. You’ll have to drive something else home on the weekends, now.”

“Yeah, I’m swinging back. I’ll be up 20% over next year easy if I keep this up.”

“No. Felka was dead wood. You did what you had to do. I’d've done the same thing if I was in your shoes. After all, you have to answer for the whole company. Like you say, you were doing him a favor. It’s just that you’re compassionate, that’s all, so it’s kind of hard to know if when you’re doing the right thing. In this case, I’d say you definitely did.”

“Yeah, young blood is what we need all right! Gotta keep those tankers moving.”

Why was he looking at me so funny? Ah, he’s just trying to figure out if I think he should feel guilty. Serves him right, canning old Mr. Felka. Of course he’s right, though. That’s what I have to be – that ruthless… no, that committed, if I’m going to hang onto my job. I might even outlast Larry, if the corporate boys figure out their paying him too much. Hell, I might even have his job before long. I’ve just gotta keep up this uphill climb, keep Larry off my back, so he doesn’t have a good reason to… I just need to think positive. Positive. Positive.